It was her red hair that I loved the most that day. It was 23 June 1986, and Sarah Ferguson was marrying HRH Prince Andrew at Westminster Abbey. I was 7 and my whole family were crowded round the TV at my grandma's with the bunting up and the souvenir crockery on display. My hair was (is) dark (my Latin blood!) and I was fascinated by that beautiful red hair! And of course the dress with the long train, the golden carriage, the cheering crowds, and all the beautiful romance of this fairy tale wedding.
The first picture of her on my bedroom wall was from that day. Others followed, dotted among She-Ra and Fraggle Rock. Then, for my next birthday, my parents bought me a book called "Sarah Ferguson, the Royal Redhead" - it was written for kids, with the story of Sarah's childhood, her love story with Andrew and of course the wedding - with lots of big pictures to pore over! I was hooked!
If you'd asked little me why I loved "Fergie" so much, I might have "she's pretty", "she's a princess", and so on - but Diana fitted that princess image much better, and while I liked her too, Sarah was always my favourite.
Maybe it's because she DIDN'T seem like a princess from a book - confident, bubbly, fun, maybe a bit naughty - like a perfect kind of big sister I would've loved to have (with no disrespect to my lovely bro!), but with the glamour and stardust of Royalty. And then when Beatrice and Eugenie came along, I could imagine these cute babies / toddlers as little sisters to look after and play with! In August 1992, the John Bryan / St Tropez scandal horrified me - I was 13 and I knew what bullying felt like - and this was bullying, everyone laughing at my Sarah
like a bunch of kids! At least it was in school holidays and I didn't have to take the taunts of my classmates. But I knew that for Sarah there was no escape!
Two years later the Duchess was divorced and publicising her book. I was 15, a studious but shy teenager. On my bedroom walls were Alanis Morrissette, No Doubt... and of course the Duchess of York! - new photo spreads from Hello! mag and the Sunday supplements. And that year, in Waterstones in Manchester, I would meet my idol for the first time!
I don't remember what I said or what she said. I just remember my beating heart, my tearful eyes, and her kindness and friendliness to me. I gave her a big bouquet of flowers, along with a bracelet-making kit for Beatrice and some Playmobil toys for Eugenie, and Sarah seemed really touched that I'd done that.
By the next day I'd read the book she'd signed for me from cover to cover. I was surprised to find that the upbeat confidence I'd always attributed to her was skindeep, and inside was a self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness that struck a deep chord with her teenage reader.
Like her, I'd suffered with my parents' divorce. Like her, I'd felt fat and ugly. Like her I'd been bullied (in my case by classmates, in hers by the tabloids and the "grey men"). And yet there she was, strong, beautiful and unbowed. And within a year she was addressing thousands of people at Weightwatchers events in the US - and earning millions of dollars doing so - how could I not be inspired?
Further inspirational books were to appear in the next decade - firstly in 2003 with What I Know Now, a beautiful little book filled with the Duchess' down-to-earth wisdom, weaved through vignettes of her life. Then in 2010 came Finding Sarah, in which the D starts with the trauma of the News of the World "Fake Sheikh scandal" before taking us on a journey of redemption. I like to think of these three autobiographical works as a kind of unofficial "Fergie Trilogy", which offers readers the chance to really immerse themselves in Sarah's life experiences and see the world through her eyes. (I plan to discuss all 3 books in future articles).
In summing up this article, I'd like to go back to that "trilogy" of book. What I love in these books is that she bares her soul to us. Depression, feeling victimised, feeling like a loser, looking in the mirror and hating what you see... I too have experienced all of this, and Sarah showed me that there are things you can do to change your life, to learn to be kind to yourself and others, to take control of your life and emotions.
Sometimes people say to me, "Well, what about the scandals, the mistakes, the overspending? She had it all and she blew it!" And my answer is that I don't care, because I don't want a hero who's perfect. I want a hero who's human, who's made mistakes and faced her demons. Because that's the kind of person I can identify with and learn from.
The Duchess of York went through her issues and made her mistakes in the glare of the world's media, part of the most famous and prestigious family in Britain, perhaps in the world. And she not only survived but came through it stronger than before. And somehow she also found the time and the strength to be a passionate, indefatigable charity campaigner and the best mum ever to her wonderful girls. And let's not forget that adorably "plummy" voice, those expressively joyful features and generous smile, bursting with laughter and fun, and last but not least that red hair that so fascinated little seven-year-old me. For all this and more, the Duchess of York is my hero!
That's my story, but I'd love to hear yours! Write as much or little as you like to duchessofyorkblog@yandex.com! Are you a fan of the Duchess or her family? Have you ever met her? I'd love to hear from you!